Recently, someone who follows us asked a question about their sister who seems to be not treating their old mom right.
This person told us that her sibling moved in with their elderly mom, and at first, she was really happy because it seemed like their mom was getting the help she needed.
But after a while, she started noticing things that worried her. She’s scared that her sister might not be doing the best for their mom. She’s wondering if there’s anything she can do to help out.
My personal recommendation is:
- Document everything that you can. This means keeping records of personal expenses made by your sibling with your parents’ money, videos showing exploitation and/or abuse, etc.
- Communicate with your sibling. It’s crucial to have open discussions with your sibling to prevent disputes and financial abuse. Communication and transparency can help to avoid conflicts.
- Use the services of a mediator. If communication isn’t working, then use a mediator as a 3rd party intervention to help you through it.
- Contact an elder law attorney. This attorney can help you through any of the legal aspects of what needs to be done such as obtaining a power of attorney, etc. Also, an experienced elder law attorney has seen all kinds of family situations and that experience will come in handy.
In addition to this “to do” list that I just mentioned, there’s more information that you should be aware of, so let me go over them here.
Recognize The Warning Signs
Some warning signs that a sibling may be taking advantage of your elderly parent include:
- Isolation: If your sibling prevents you from contacting or visiting your parent, this could be a sign of control and potential abuse.
- Financial Changes: Look out for sudden changes in your parent’s will or financial arrangements that favor the sibling in question, especially if these changes were made during a period of isolation or control.
- Lack of Transparency: If you notice a lack of transparency in financial matters or if you suspect financial exploitation, such as unauthorized withdrawals, changes to bank accounts, or missing valuables, it could indicate abuse.
- Behavioral Changes: Pay attention to any unusual behavior from your parent, such as fearfulness around the sibling, sudden changes in their demeanor, or signs of emotional distress.
- Power Struggles: If there are power struggles within the family regarding the care and decisions for the elderly parent, it could be a red flag indicating potential exploitation by a sibling.
- Legal Changes: Be wary of any legal documents being altered without proper explanation or involvement of all family members, especially if these changes benefit the sibling at the expense of others.
Sources above include commonwisecare.com and hchlawyers.com
If you observe these warning signs or have suspicions about your sibling taking advantage of your elderly parent, it is crucial to take action to protect your parent’s well-being and assets.
Consider seeking outside assistance, maintaining documentation, and if necessary, contacting adult protective services for further investigation and intervention
