There are weird holidays for all kinds of things and Tell An Old Joke Day is just one of those wonderful types of days. It’s celebrated on July 24th and it’s a great excuse to take some time with your elderly loved one to recall some humor from back in the day.
As many elderly and their families are indoors due to the current pandemic – we thought this would be a fun way to spend some time with each other.
And who knows, you may be able to remember some old jokes you had forgotten!
So here is our list of Old Jokes – have fun!
Old Jokes From The 1920s
Many jokes and one liners from the 1920’s was seen in silent films and Vaudeville acts where slapstick and physical humor was used. There was blackface and ethical/racial stereotypes used often.
Why were the trousers not allowed to enter the school?
They were suspended – upjoke.com
“Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.”
A son at college wrote to his father:
“No mon, no fun, your son.”
The father answered:
“How sad, too bad, your dad.”
Western Oregon University
Why don’t they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.
“A woman can make any man a millionaire, if he’s a billionaire”
– Charlie Chaplin
Mother – it shocks me awfully to think you took the penny. Remember, it is as much a sin to steal a penny as a dollar. Now how do you fell Willy?
Willy – Like a chump! There was a dollar right alongside the penny.
“Where are you going Ma?” – asked the youngest of five children.
“To a surprise party my dear.”
“Are we all going too?”
“No dear, you were not invited – just Pa and I.”
After a few moments of deep thought, the little fellow said:
“Mamma, then don’t you think they’d be a lot more surprised if you’d take us along?”
– monday morning jokes
She: Did you know that money carries disease?
He: No wonder I’m always well.
– Western Oregon University
Rosie – “You’re looking swell, Dick.”
Dick – “Thanks, old top. Sorry I can’t say the same about you.”
Rose – “You could if you lied like I did.”
– The Davidsonian
Did you know I was a life saver last summer?
Really, what flavor?
– Google Books
Old Jokes From The 1930s
Films and stage acts continued to become more popular as the world looked for any relief from the Great Depression.
When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
– Gracie Allen
I took my girl to dinner, and she laughed so hard at one of my jokes that she dropped her tray.
– Jack Benny
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
– Mae West
Hugo your way and I’ll go mine.
– The 1930s
George – I always do my hardest work before breakfast.
Fred – What’s that?
George – Getting up.
– The Bode Bugle
“We’re the first nation in the history of the world to go to the poorhouse in an automobile.”
– Will Rogers
“I wish I was an acrobat so I could stand on my head and watch the stocks go UP.”
– Bob Hope
I told my congressman we’re intellectual opposites.
He said, what do you mean?
I said I’m an intellectual, you’re an opposite.
– Old Vaudeville Joke (source)
Gracie: Breakfast will be ready in six minutes.
George: Six minutes?
Gracie: Yeah, I just put on two three minute eggs.
– Gracie Allen and George Burns
My car is so old it’s insured for fire, theft and indian raid.
– Old Vaudeville Joke (source)
I gambled at the crap table all night and finally lost $8, but during that time the house gave me four drinks and two cigars, so it was still a lot cheaper than renting a room.
– Jack Benny
Old Jokes From The 1940s
Humor in the 1940’s revolved around the events surrounding World War II. Comedians began visiting troops overseas and the language in comedy continued to evolve a bit more racist and just a bit raunchier.
Richboy – “I’d give a thousand dollars to anyone who would do my worrying for me.”
Dedbroke – “You’re on! Where’s the thousand?”
Richboy – “That’s your first worry.”
– Book of jokes from 1940’s
Hitler visits the front and talks to a soldier. Hitler asks: “Friend, when you are in the front line under artillery fire, what do you wish for?” The soldier replies: “That you, my Fuhrer, stand next to me!”
A spiritualist had a message from her husband to send him a package of cigarettes.
“Where shall I sent them,” she asked a friend, “he didn’t give an address.”
“Well,” said the friend, “you notice he didn’t ask for matches. That’s a kind of an indication.”
– The Daily Standard
In a prison cell, a dreary place, sat a prisoner who committed a sin.
The warden said, “You have one hour of grace.”
The prisoner said, “Ok pal, send her in.”
– Red Skelton
Hitler went to a fortuneteller and asked her, “On what day will I die?”
The seeress assured him that he would die on a Jewish holiday.
“Why are you so sure of that?” demanded Hitler.
“Any day,” she replied, “on which you die will be a Jewish holiday.”
In a certain home where the stork recently visited there is a six-year-old son of an inquiring mind. When he was first taken in to see the new arrival he exclaimed:
“Oh, mamma, it hasn’t any teeth! And no hair!” Then clasping his hands in despair, he cried: “Somebody has done us. It’s an old baby.”
“I haven’t spoken to my mother-in-law for 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.”
– Sir Ken Dodd
A nervous little man walked into a grocery store in a small town. “I want to buy all your overripe vegetables and stale eggs,” he said.
“Well,” said the shop keeper with a twinkle in his eye, “You must be going to see the new comedian at the theater tonight.”
“Not so loud,” said the little man, looking around apprehensively. “I am the new comedian!”
– Book of jokes from 1940’s
He was a young lawyer who had just started practicing in a small town and hung his sign outside his office door.
It read: “A. Swindler.”
A stranger who called to consult him saw the sign and said: “My goodness, man, look at that sign! Don’t you see how it reads? Put in your first name – Alexander, Ambrose, or whatever it is.”
“Oh, yes, I know,” said the lawyer resignedly, “but I don’t exactly like to do it.”
“Why not? asked the client. “It looks might bad as it is. What is your first name?”
Teacher (to Bert who has come in late) – “You should have been here at nine o’clock.”
Bert – “Why, what happened?”
– The Sunday Post
Old Jokes From The 1950s
The style of comedy, humor and one liners in the 1950s took a turn towards using language many used but were not allowed on stage (i.e. Lenny Bruce). Humor demeaning women and other minorities was prevalent. But the 1950s also brought television into the homes of many and Lucille Ball brought her wacky sense of humor to the masses.
“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous; everyone hasn’t met me yet.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
Two hipsters were standing in front of a bar when a space ship arrived in the street and a Martian stepped out. He was dressed in a plastic hat, green pointed shoes, a red shirt, and purple phosphorescent gloves.
“Take me to your leader,” he demanded.
“Never mind the jazz,” said one of the hipsters. “Take us to your tailor.”
I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I’m going to be if I grow up.
– Lenny Bruce
A doctor says to a man “You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day.” Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says “How is your love life since you have been running?” “I don’t know, I’m 140 miles away!”
– Henny Youngman
Ethel: You think they can make a glamour girl out of me?
Lucy: Sure, says right here, “We work miracles.”
– I Love Lucy
So many important things happened while I was on vacation. In New York, the newspapers went on strike. I think that’s terrible to be without newspapers. How are you gonna wrap fish?
– Milton Berle
Drinking removes warts and pimples. Not from me. But from those I look at.
– Jackie Gleason
With the collapse of vaudeville, new talent has no place to stink.
– George Burns
“Marriage is a wonderful institution. But who wants to live in an institution?”
– Groucho Marx
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
– Lucille Ball
Old Jokes From The 1960s
The 1960s was a radical time in the USA with protests, Vietnam war, Hippies and protests against “the establishment.” Comedians like George Carlin and Richard Pryor came into their own expanding on what Lenny Bruce began in the 1950s and we never looked back!
“Open wide,” demanded the dentist as he began his examination of a new patient.
“Good grief!” he said, “You’ve got the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen – the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen!”
“You don’t have to repeat it,” snapped the patient.
“I didn’t,” said the dentist. “That was the echo!”
I still can’t understand why it should cost a quarter of a billion dollars to send a camera to Mars. What’s it going by—cab?
– Robert Orben
I walked into a restaurant, which was the wrong restaurant, in Mississippi … I sit down, the blonde waitress walked over to me and I said, ‘I’d like two cheeseburgers.’ She said, ‘We don’t serve colored people here,’ and I said, ‘I don’t eat colored people nowhere!
– Dick Gregory
Welcome to the Academy Awards, or, as it’s known at my house, Passover.
– Bob Hope
Proud Mother: “Yes, he’s fourteen months old now – and he’s been walking since he was eight months old!”
Visitor: “Really? He must be awfully tired!”
– 1960’s Jokes and Riddles Book
In 1492, Columbus did one of the most daring things yet known to man. He borrowed money from a woman.
– George Carlin
Pretty soon we’re going to be a transistorized, battery-operated, muscleless society. Yesterday a kid showed up for his first Little League game. They gave him a bat and he wanted to know where to plug it in.
I’m from an average size family – 11 kids. No mother or father, just kids.
– Richard Pryor
I’m very happy to be here in Los Angeles, I’ll tell you that.
You people know how to live.
You can’t beat your freeways, I’ll tell you that.
Boy, it’s wonderful.
The underpasses, the overpasses, the cloverleaf intersections.
I don’t care where you live in Los Angeles, you hop in your car, get on any freeway and in 15 minutes your lost.
– Joey Bishop
There ain’t nothin’ an old man can do for me but bring me a message from a young one…I’d rather pay a young man’s fare to California than tell an old man the distance.
– Jackie (Moms) Mabley
We hope these jokes gave you and your senior loved one a little chuckle! It was interesting to see how humor changed through the decades!